Drunken Ladies Adventure

I'm going out with my girls last Sat night, after we all get ready and have a few pre-party drinks. We head out to what they call in Whitby a club, we immediately start doing shots of tequila........Aye! Aye! Aye! You guessed it was not but soon after we were hammered, while we were indulging however we ran into a few security guards from our work and they joined the party of course. Which was pretty handy later on in the evening since there were a couple creepers but my security guard Melissa protected me and told them to fuck off, I felt like I could do anything I wanted. From here I don't remember much about the bar that evening, but here is how they described me at the bar............"You Dancing like a goof ball all night, you had no shame, you were hugging all the bouncers that looked unhappy to try to cheer them up, and you had 19yr old groupies following you around cuz they loved you."


The way home I do remember I felt a little less drunk cuz of that cold air hitting me as we walked to get a cab, on the way there all the girls were not happy about the cold and the walk. We gots to do it though, on the way to our mission I see a cop car so I lean in and ask for a ride (still no shame). I guess I was cuter then I felt cuz they told all of us to hop in and we did, my drunk ass wasn't all hot for the cops but girlfriends was. I profusely embarrassed my girlfriend by asking to hold their guns, and to turn on the sirens. After they dropped one of my girlfriends off me and my friend got dropped off so we could smoke a doobie at a friends, we get out they tell us to call dispatch and what to say if we need a ride home. So we smoke this doobie and somehow(can't remember how it was started) my friend Mel was beat boxing, which she didn't know she could do. This guy that was there was free styling and I was singing, then the guy who is free styling asks me to be on his album that he is gonna make which is prolly all drunken bs but still very flattering. It is time for bed I am exhausted and fucked up, the cops pick us up again to drive us home. As we approach they ask us to add them to facebook, but how am I supposed to remember a name in that state? The drunken adventure is over and I am in my warm bed and all I have to worry about is how many kicks and punches I'm gonna get from my girlfriend sleeping next to me.

Birth Control

I am ecstatic and proud to say I recently have become an Auntie for the second time, my sis had little bambino Noah on Jan 15th. I missed the birth of my niece due to things out of my control and I was determined that I was not going to miss this one. I am about to tell you why I feel that watching a child be born was amazing yet the best birth control ever so be warned if you don't want to know the truth about child birth do not read on.

My sis went into labour about 2 in the afternoon and did not deliver until 5:45am, so unless I was in the room consoling my sis I was out in the hall and waiting room. I was listening to other women give birth this entire time and I discover that there is pain not just one place but many as I hear women scream about their backs, and even one women repeatedly scream to the doctor about her legs and telling him to cut them off. I did not realize that there was more pain involved then your birth canal and back, oh how I felt for those women in pain and agony.


Finally it was time for the bambino to be born and I was an eye witness, I watched and helped by pulling my sis' leg up. First of all I see the head start to come out and soon I learned dilating 10cm does not mean that the head is 10cm. The Doc starts easing the head out and in a matter of a few seconds Noah comes shooting out along with a bunch of blood and goop, it was the strangest feeling I was disgusted with what I had seen yet I had tears of joy and couldn't wait to hold this beautiful slimy little one. Just when you think it is over the placenta comes out along with a rancid smell and you now have hemorrhoids along with tearing and needing a few stitches. My baby Noah is put in my arms and all that I have seen and heard that evening/day is forgotten, afterwards my sis asks how the birth control was and I respond by saying" it's working even better now". I also said "I'm never having sex again " oops! Mama was in the room too. All in all it was an amazing unforgettable experience, but I'm gonna need the image to not be so fresh before I give children a thought again......Little scared of the penis, and not so flustered about not having any recent action. LOL