Wonder Wheel

I had a great Easter weekend, Friday I went over to my sis' place for Easter lunch and before my niece could come down from upstairs I played Eater bunny and hid eggs for her. When she came I started the hunt with her, it was sooooo cute every time she found a Easter egg in a funny spot she said " I can't believe it, the Easter bunny hid it here. He's so funny!" Cup her hand over her mouth and giggle, I tried to maul and squish her, she protested but I did it anyhow. I ducked outta there a little early cuz I had a first date with this guy named Jamie that I have been talking to everyday since March 10th. He lives in Mississauga so I went down there to meet him, I was really nervous cuz I don't usually go on a date per say, usually I just meet guys randomly at bars and whatnot. Also since the day I started talking to him everything has seemed too good to be true, I have never had such great conversations with a guy or have things just flow so well and smoothly. I had about quite a few guys on the go and that I was talking to but no one I wanted to possibly pursue or gotten along with was well. He picked me up and we went to the movies, dinner and drinks. It was the best date I have ever been on ever, the way we got along was awesome. We seem to have an automatic chemistry that I have heard people describe but never felt before, or thought I had it until now. We made out a little at a local bar, and he's a really good kisser then he drove me all the way home to Whitby holding my hand the whole time.

The next day I was still on a high and it was Foo Fighter concert day! I got a text from him before I left for T.O. telling me he had a great time and asking me to go out again, since I was still gonna be in T.O. cuz I was staying the night we decided to meet up after I left the hotel. Off to the hotel I went to party like a rock star, we had a few drinks there and went to my fav restaurant Canyon Creek. We had a wicked meal and then went to the Foo's who rocked the house, we then headed went to the Phoenix and kept the party going. It was strange but fun night, I don't know if I had slut on my forehead but I have never been asked so many times in one night to go home with a guy. I mean they weren't even making small talk or asking my name at least, so since they had no respect for me I gave it back to a few of 'em and told them they needed to buy me a drink first. I am not usually a bitch but they were jerks and for some reason I have this thing where if a guy is an ass, if I can I like to pay him back. Needless to say they bought me a drink and I took off after, they may have been pissed but maybe it will teach them to at least have the common curtiousy to ask a girl her name before asking her to go home. I also found 20 bucks in the bank machine someone had left behind that I yoinked before pulling money out, which was pretty sweet. All in all it was a wonderfully weird great night, and I went to bed anticipating my date the next day.


Morning after I was little hurting and we slept in past check out time, but there was no way I was going on my date smelling like bar, I showered quick and we got outta there. When we got to Union we had some time to kill, so we went to the arcade and I played some dance game. Me and my gf Jamie had left our purses on the ground to play games, we were the only ones in there. Some guy walks in and starts playing games as well, after I'm done my game I decide that I should go grab our purses as I turn to walk towards them they guy was walking towards them as well. He sees me and quickly turned around I quickly grabbed them and before we left I saw that he wasn't playing any game the fucker but "phew" for timing. My friends caught their train and I had to get ready for my date in the Union station bathroom, cuz really I didn't have any choice and people were looking at me very strangely.........It was pretty funny.


Jamie picked me up in sauga, I jumped in his truck and asked what he wanted to do. He asked me if I wanted to go to Niagara Falls for the day and I ecstatically replied yes, we got there and went for lunch. After that we went to this play place, we played skee ball, video games, shot stuff, it was sooo much fun! At the end we had accumulated tickets and Jamie suggested I get a candle so that when I light it I remember that day *sigh* and we got matching eye ball rings too LOL. We then went to the falls and hung out there for a few mins which were beautiful of course, especially with the snow and ice and the only good thing about it still being wintery. We headed to the Casino after that and Jamie played Blackjack I watched for a bit, he offered to let me play but I wasn't about to lose his money. I went and played the slots for a bit and won 20 bucks came back and continued to watch. I think the other people at the table hated us though, cuz we were laffing, chatting and making out, while they tried to play a serious game. We were both hungry so we went to grab something to eat again, after Jamie asked me if I wanted to go on the Sky Line ferris wheel so we did. As soon as we got in there we started making out like crazy lol, we stopped from time to time so I could see what was going on. I saw Niagara at night and the falls lit up for the first time and it was gorgeous, afterwards Jamie re-named the ferris wheel "Wonder Wheel" cuz he and I had a wonderful time in there........Awwww Suki Suki now! We left after that and he drove me all the way home again holding my hand, it was the best date I have ever been on. I have never had so much fun with a guy, or had that strong of a connection right off the bat like we have been together forever. Ever since our first date I feel like I'm in this weird daze and can't pay attention to anything the same way cuz I'm thinking about him so much. I think it's time to leave my flock of men behind for now cuz for the first time in a long time I don't want anybody else and feel like they don't compare anyhow. I don't know if it will work out with Jamie, but I find myself wanting something real when I wasn't looking for it and to me that means something since I don't like most men this much. Even if it doesn't work out he has made me believe in love again and shown me how great someone can be and make me feel, everyday he tells me I'm the best, how sexy I am, and makes me laugh and I have never had such a strong desire to be around someone or talk to. He will always be the guy that gave me hope after a horrid time with men and I will never forget him ever.

Steve Gale

Steve was a high school teacher who was getting married to his soul mate this coming summer, and he was one the most intense, adventurous, positive, and thoughtful people I have ever known. He decided to take his own life with a shot-gun this past February 27th, on his birthday. Steve did not leave a note behind but just lists of who he wanted contacted, pallbearers, and all the arrangements following his death on his computer. Doesn't surprise me cuz Steve was the ultimate perfectionist, he was always striving to do better. Steve was part of our group of friends who hung out and partied all the time, many of which he hosted. Including our prom party, we all camped out in his huge backyard and in the morning Steve was pissed at my gf's bf Paul. I mean Paul was a fucker and Steve had every right but after he had punched Paul out he was walking away still steaming and stepped on a shovel or rake that came up and whacked him in the head.........Too funny! I didn't see Steve nearly as much after high school, we all get busy with our lives but we still were friends and hung out especially cuz my best friend Jay was still really tight with him.


On the Friday which was February 29th was supposed to be Steve's surprise B-day party and his fiance was going to surprise him with a trip to Cancun, Mexico. Instead of celebrating there was an open house at his parents house for him, Steve has suffered from depression for all his life. I hadn't become aware of this till recently and can't help that this needs to be more of a serious issue since 70% of us are at least mildly depressed and it is the lowest funded sickness. Sorry to get off topic but it had to be addressed, I attended Steve's wake on the Sunday and his Funeral on the Tuesday. Many tears were shed of course including mine, every time I thought about the family or his fiance I couldn't help but be washed over with sadness and pain. It was strange the night before the funeral, I had a dream about Steve and a lot of other friends but we were all young and hanging out. I was having a conversation with him and I know he was giving me some kind of advice(he always did) but it seemed so real, I woke up drooling(only happens with intense dreams) and tears welled up in my eyes not such a pretty picture.



Even though this has been one of the hardest times of my life because I have never lost a friend, there has been some amazing things that have happened. Two of my best friends who are also Brother and Sister have not spoken to each other in almost a year really, that used to have so much love for each other and hang out all the time. Spoke and hung out for the first time after the wake, and had a heart to heart like one of those that you usually are drunk for and decided to make more of an effort towards their relationship ( I almost cried). Also seeing people that I have not seen in years, including my old best friend Bryan who I ended up hanging out with the night of the funeral and having my own heart to heart with. I missed him and it's great to have him back in my life, we went through a lot of crap and after not seeing each other for years to put all of it behind was a nice unexpected gift. Whether we continue or not it's nice to know that he still considers me his best friend and confidante. It's funny how the wrong of someone suffering and dying can bring a new light to others, Steve is still my first thought in the morning and last at night and I have never had so many thoughts with him. We shouldn't wait for tragedy to right the wrongs, because sometimes it could be too late.



Steve's Poem


I'd like the memory of me
To be a happy one.
I'd like to leave an afterglow
Of smiles when the day is done.


I'd like to leave an echo
Whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times, and laughing times
And bright sunny days.


I'd like the tears of those who grieve
To dry before the sun
Of happy memories and I leave
Behind-when the day is done.